I have seen so many new naturals that assume that oil alone can moisturize their hair strands and that they must use Shea butter. That is not the end all of natural hair my fellow nappies. My hair strands cannot take straight up Shea butter . Its like putting grease on my scalp. My hair immediately is weighed down and yucky feeling. Shea butter for me has to be cut with aloe, sometimes I don't even add an oil into my shealoe because heck shea butter has oil properties. Oil, Shea butter and aloe vera gel/gelly/juice IS and CAN be a great moisturizing product, however I caution you to try it out in small batches and access how your hair feels after.
There is no way I can wash my hair and then add an oil on top of it and expect soft hair. It's not going to happen. I need to use a water based product geared for moisture first, then lightly seal my hair with oil. This only works for me in the summer and spring time. In the winter time living in NJ I have to moisturize my hair and then braid or twist it up to keep the moisture. Once it has sunk in overnight I can then unloosen the hair and go about my business.
Many curl defining products have either glycerin or a humentcant that is looking for moisture in the air to draw into your hair. If there is no moisture around well its going to draw it from your own strands until your hair is drier than the Sahara. A trick I have learned is to still use my glycerin products but seal with heavy oil when the hair is wet and then leave it alone. Karen's Body Beautiful Hair Milk is famous for not working in my hair in the winter. I simply moisturize with the Hair Milk and seal with Hairvedas Cocasta oil. Next day.... soft hair!
It's trial and error , you will hear this from every nappy out there. You must work with your hair and what works at one length may not work at another.
Ive found a lovely hair spritz that has not one ounce of glycerin in it. Taliah Waajids Protective Bodifier. I was ecstatic to learn it is being sold in certain CVS's. I suggest if you use spritz and are looking for one to help you out in the winter , pick this one up. The ingredients are: Pure Distilled Water, Wheat germ oil, Indian hemp, olive oil, balsam, aloe vera, bee pollen, silk protein, bay laurel, fruit bioflavonoids, anicent african herbal formula